It’s hot outside, which means people with sufficient funds who live in the vicinity of movie theaters are watching “blockbusters.” Those with the means to attend movies (but not to attend them in the private theater located conveniently on their grounds) are purchasing buckets of soda and cauldrons of popped corn and escaping into the air conditioning to immerse themselves in a fantasy world in which the most powerful people are good, strong, sane, and photogenic.
But suppose you lack the funds for cinema and/or also enjoy reading. What is one to do? I insist the library has the cure for what ails you: “blockbuster” books. You might be wondering how you’ll keep cool without the icy embrace of the local cinema. Your best course of action might be to read your blockbuster book in the comfort of your local library, but I understand some of you prefer to read at home with ready access to your domesticated animals, snacks, and the toilet that knows you best. There are many methods to achieve a comfortable temperature, though you’ll have to be pretty tiny to fit inside your fridge, and visiting your neighbors so that you can surreptitiously fill hundreds of garbage bags with their air conditioned air and then release your ill-gotten cool inside your own home doesn’t work as well as you might suppose. Perhaps place a dollop of cubed ice on a shaved portion of your scalp? As a gentleman of means, I’ll simply activate a machine built for the sole purpose of fanning me. Continue reading “The Gentleman Recommends: Tom Sweterlitsch”