Writers are immortalized through the written word, but there is one unique piece of writing inextricably linked to their mortality: their epitaphs. My favorite thing about literary epitaphs is how reflective they often are of the life and work of the writers they commemorate. In honor of National Plan Your Epitaph Day (seriously), I’ve collected some literary gems that are now set in stone.

Robert Frost wrote his epitaph years before his death in his poem “The Lesson for Today.” The final four lines read: “And were an epitaph to be my story / I’d have a short one ready for my own. / I would have written of me on my stone: / I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.” Similarly, Dorothy Parker selected her own epitaph. Because she was cremated, there was no actual tombstone on which to engrave it, so it was immortalized in a plaque in her memorial garden, dedicated by the NAACP. With her signature wit, Parker suggested:  “Excuse my dust.” Unfortunately, as Aphra Behn points out in her own epitaph, “Here lies a Proof that Wit can never be Defense enough against mortality.” Continue reading “Literary Epitaphs”

The approach of Halloween always piques my interest in the paranormal. When October rolls around, I can’t get enough of horror movies, paranormal fiction and ghost stories. I also can’t get enough sleep because I’m afraid that if I don’t keep a tight enough grip on my blanket, a demon under my bed will rip it off of me. One of my guiltiest Halloween pleasures is the show Ghost Adventures; I have always wanted to tag along with Zak Bagans and his team as they spend the night in some of America’s most haunted locations. Unfortunately, since that would be kind of tricky logistically, I have to look a little closer to home. In “Haunted Columbia, Missouri,” Mary Barile gives the backstory for several haunted locations right here in town. Drawing from stories in Barile’s collection and the Columbia Daily Tribune (or in the case of the final location, rumors I have heard through the grapevine), I have compiled a short list of possible stops for a self-directed ghost tour.

The historic Stephens College campus is worth the visit for the beautiful architecture alone, but paranormal enthusiasts will find plenty to appreciate as well. According to a 1971 article in the Columbia Daily Tribune (recounted here), a group including students, a teacher, and a newspaper reporter gathered for an amateur ghost hunt in Senior Hall. As soon as the door shut, wind filled the room and blew out the candle. Hearing footsteps, the journalist peeked out into the hall and saw two figures, a woman dressed in a gown and a man. “The man dropped into a low crouch, his left hand outstretched as though to ward something off. Then both figures disappeared down the stairs,” he says. Naturally, the group immediately left. Hours later, another group of students entering Senior Hall and were stopped by a woman in a gown warning them that their teacher (a member of the previous group) was no longer welcome there. Continue reading “Haunted Columbia”

I’m serious. My stuff is making me insane — I mean full-on, crazy-train-insane. Let me explain. We never really fully unpacked when we moved here five years ago, and since then we have absorbed a couple of other households worth of stuff from relatives who have passed. I have definitely crossed my clutter threshold. It’s to the point that I almost just want to walk away from it all. I’m sure that all of that STUFF is really valuable, useful and sentimental stuff, right? WRONG!

So I have been on a quest (obsession?) to get rid of the clutter in my house. I have been checking out decluttering, organizing, minimalism and zero waste books like crazy. Wait. We already established that the clutter is making me crazy, right? This quest has actually been an on again/off again thing for quite a while. I read “The Story of Stuff” when it first came out along with “No Impact Man” and even though I was concerned, life crowded those stories out.

The first obvious go-to books are “The Magic of Tidying Up” and “Spark Joy” by Marie Kondo. The idea behind these books is to hold each object in your house and decide whether or not it inspires a sense of joy. Yeah, that’s not going to work for me. That would just have me getting rid of things that I should probably keep (like the vacuum cleaner) and holding onto things that I should probably have let go of by now (like that crazy prom dress). It’s also hard to look at an item like a whisk and say “I need to get rid of that.” No. It’s a tool. It’s useful. We need to keep it. But when I looked in my kitchen drawer — the one that won’t close because it’s so full — I counted 10 whisks so maybe I do need to let some of them go. Continue reading “Help! My Stuff is Making Me Crazy!”

It’s been an odd summer for my family. The longest we have all been able to make our schedules match up this year has been two days (over the Fourth of July) so we took a mini-vacation together to the Ozarks. Beyond that, we are all taking separate longer vacations. My daughter went to Greece (lucky girl!), my son is planning on going skydiving, and my husband just got back from visiting family in Denver (with gorgeously cool weather). Me? I’m heading to Texas in August, but it’s for my mother’s 82^nd birthday so I won’t complain about the 100+ degree weather. But since we can’t all take an actual vacation together, I thought we could take a virtual vacation through the library!

I asked my husband where we should go for our virtual vacation and ran into an immediate snag. We have completely opposite vacationing styles. He likes islands; I like mountains and woods. He likes drinks on the beach; I like coffee shops in bookstores. He likes bungalows; I like historic hotels. He likes sand volleyball; I like strolling through museums. We did find a compromise, however — the Galapagos Islands. He gets sea and sun and I get science, history and adventure at a World Heritage site. Continue reading “Virtual Vacation: The Galapagos Islands”

Forget all the rules of fight club because we want to talk about this! Who even knew that ukulele fight club was a real thing? A lot of people, evidently! It’s not just here in Columbia, or Missouri, or even just the USA. No, this is a global thing. And why not? Ukuleles are the perfect instrument: small and portable, not too expensive or complicated, and you can sing and play at the same time. Ukuleles have shown up all over the place in popular music from Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow/It’s A Wonderful World” to anything by NeverShoutNever.

The library is a great place to learn this new skill. Check out some of these great books to help you get started: Continue reading “Ukulele Fight Club!”