The Gentleman Recommends: Maria Kuznetsova

Oksana Behave book cover Just what the world needs, another coming-of-age novel, you might say to yourself after picking up “Oksana, Behave!” by Maria Kuznetsova. Perhaps you’ll scream at your aquarium (not feeling guilty because the water muffles the noise) “Has the gentleman led me astray yet again?!” I’d respond in the negative, were I there rather than recuperating on my fainting couch from the distress your imagined outburst has caused me. But indeed, the world is always in need of good books regardless of genre, and this one might be more useful than usual, as it will make you smile and it’s an immigrant’s story. Though, of course, someone who reads books, and particularly someone who reads books that aren’t written by television show hosts, and more particularly someone who reads a coming-of-age story about a Ukrainian (then American) girl (then woman) is probably not particularly in need of being reminded that immigrants (even when they don’t enter a country through the mandated bureaucratic channels!) are people.

For a sense of the novel and her grandmother, here is a link and the book’s first paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph:

After I asked what America would be like, my grandmother sighed philosophically and released a mouthful of smoke out the passenger window. “America, Ukraine, it’s all the same in the end,” Baby said, as her brother, Boris, drove us to the station. “We just need a change, that’s all. Some things will be better in America, and some will be worse,” she declared, taking another drag on her cigarette. “But think of all the men!”
I was only seven, so this wasn’t much of a selling point.
Same thing, but this time with her father:
“Do not be sad, Oksana,” Papa said, though he seemed quite sad himself. “Kiev is in your soul. You can return there anytime you want.” He tapped my heart for emphasis.
Again, but with Mama:
“Dearest God I don’t believe in,” Mama said, shaking her heard. “What did I do to deserve such a silly child? Who cares about Kiev, darling? You have your family with you, lucky fool. Everything you need is right here.
Once more, to demonstrate the dynamic between Oksana and her Baba.
Baba pointed her cigarette at me. “You know what your problem is?” she said.
“Having an annoying family?” I asked.
“You ask too many questions. What’s there to know, little idiot? You are born, you have some laughs and a rendezvous or two, and then you fall into the void. Just try to enjoy the ride, darling…”

Each quoted snippet is from the novel’s first two pages, and with the family dynamic established, the novel leaves Ukraine and proceeds through a series of what some fancy folk might call vignettes. We drop in on Oksana every few years, and the sassy child of the novel’s opening gives way to a brilliant young woman whose antics might be labeled downright ribald. I’ll confess my delicate sensibilities were tested, and more than one monocle fell from my rapidly widening eyes as I learned about Oksana’s lack of compunctions and fondness for amorous entanglements.

But this isn’t some codpiece-ripper for the 21st century. It’s an excellent novel with more heart and humor than any book ever written by a television host. If you don’t like it, yell some more at your aquarium about it.

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