Making Holidays Less Lonely

I will spare you the “with the new normal … ” spiel. Holidays feeling lonely, while new to some, has long been a familiar feeling to many. Pre-pandemic, many people were too far away from family to travel, had toxic families who were damaging to their mental health or simply did not have any family with whom they could gather. You may be spending the holidays alone this year, or with significantly fewer people than you are used to. I can’t promise you merry and bright, but it doesn’t have to be bad.Crowded shopping mall

First off, I would encourage you to focus on the negative. We have to stop pretending that this is the most wonderful time of the year. Do you know what it actually is? Stressful. It’s the most stressful time of year. When you think about all of the things you are missing out on, remember to count the things you are grateful to be missing out on like trying to travel and shop amidst hordes of other stressed out consumers. Look at the picture on the right and tell me you aren’t glad to not be a part of it.

Enjoy your own company. Cook a good meal for yourself and eat it in peace without your family judging your diet and getting into misinformed political debates. Weather permitting (and the season has, thus far, been pretty permitting) go for a walk on a beautiful trail. Take a luxuriously long nap. If you are in a Cover of Cooking for Onesituation where you are forced to buck tradition, you may as well do whatever you want.

Nothing original here, but see what traditions could be moved online. Does your family have a tradition of watching Christmas movies together? There are many programs that will let you watch movies together synchronously from  your own home. Bake cookies while you Zoom or FaceTime or whatever program floats your boat. Eat them all yourself. Is there a coveted family recipe your aunt jealously guards? This year may be your best shot at guilting her into sharing it. Is she really going to force you to go a whole year without her famous sweet potato casserole? It may be manipulative, but so is recipe hoarding. You may as well take advantage of the situation.

Do something within your community. Many local businesses are hurting right now. You may not realize the difference that purchasing your gifts from them could make for their owners and employees. Look for places where you can safely volunteer. If you are in a place where it is financially feasible for you to buy gifts for people who might not otherwise have them, consider doing so. Send cards to a nursing home. You may be surprised by how much these actions can mitigate loneliness.Cover of Eileen

If nothing else, distraction is a powerful thing. Watch a movie. May I humbly recommend “Last Holiday”? Queen Latifah had no problem spending the holidays by herself and having a great time doing it. Also, (you knew this was coming), find a good book to read. If you are looking for something warm and uplifting, try “A Man Called Ove” or “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.” If you want something disturbingly bleak that’s set in the holiday season, give “Eileen” by Ottessa Moshfeg a try. If you’d like a personalized recommendation, join us for Facebook Friday in a couple of days!

When I wrote a blog post back in March about taking care of your mental health during a pandemic, I definitely did not think I would be writing such a similar post in December. I thought the library would only stay closed for two weeks. I thought we would flatten the curve. I thought things would go back to normal. In all honesty, it hurts to even be writing this. But I also want to say thank you. Thank you for everything you did to stop the spread. Thank you for putting on a mask, for opting to stay home when possible, and for adapting to the new library policies to give us the best chance of staying open.

 

2 thoughts on “Making Holidays Less Lonely”

  1. This was a great post. Thank Alyssa for preparing it. I have to laugh that every year there are untold TV, radio and other media discussions about avoiding arguments about politics at the family get togethers. We pretty much avoided that this year. I hope everyone stays “masked up” and carefully social distanced.

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